I distinctly remember that day. A boisterous class of 50; 11 year olds thumping desks, howling like dogs, showing the world around them that they are the senior most students in the building with the exception of the few repeating the ‘fifth’ grade. Some are busy playing book cricket, others pen fight, and some are just staring at the walls or outside the windows, a few hyperactive ones whirling around in the class as if they would actually fly. A few overtly ‘pdhaku’ leaned over their books; I personally enjoyed disturbing these peculiar souls, ‘cause seriously who can actually study in a classroom sounding like a fish market, then the class monitor who was basically the doorman of the class yells “mam aagayi aur haath mien paper bhi hain”. Usually the thought that marks of an subject will be revealed would take my moral a notch down but not this time, this periodical had been good, unexpectedly, but it had been A’s all along the way, not that I would top the class or anything, even top 10 seemed very difficult, but back I then was the ‘glass-half full’ kind of kid, ‘good enough’ percentage were good enough for me.I don’t exactly remember what was it; the 5 straight A’s or what, but I had a nice feeling about it.
The sixth subject was Sanskrit; we were tested on it for the very first time. Then the teacher started calling out roll nos. ….1…2……8...full marks very good…9…..i was 14 but I was on the table when she called 9 and as others took their papers I had the first look at the very first failure of my life. I failed a subject for the first and the last time in my life (for now). I scored a 14/50 and I couldn’t believe it, I re-totaled it again and again, my (once-twice failed) friends were suggesting me to add answer in the empty spaces or at the last or maybe change some answer a bit, others were just patting and saying “koi baat nhi yaar.”And I was just crying like a toddler. During my early years I was the crying types, it is embarrassing but it is the truth, I used to cry even if others cheated in a game and petty stuff like that.
Back home jaws dropped and cracked some floors, ‘Gharwale Log’ were surprised and in a way disgusted, I mean they had seen low marks but a F, they never expected I would sink so low. After some more crying and a good nap, I was back, I mean I was a bit unruffled and restrained for a few days but actually my lamenting had stopped. But I took it as a challenge and as the great Barney awesome Stinson says, I said “Challenge Accepted”.
Second periodicals only one ‘A’ in the report card and that was right beside the previous ‘F’, I scored 46/50 which was quite an improvement. I never scored more than 75% in Sanskrit ever, after that one time. But I still remember the ‘shlok’:
“Om Asato Maa Sadgamaya |
Tamaso Maa Jyotirgamaya |
Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya |
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||”
Failures do teach you lessons which help you to ultimately achieve success. That year I was led to believe (by myself) that if I really want to do something, I can do it.
I thought the same when I decided to take a drop for JEE.I still thought if I want to, I will. I really wanted to make 10 April 2011 a very memorable date when I fuck JEE and come out jubilated, but I fucked up and there was nothing in this world I could’ve done after I stepped out of the exam hall to undo that. On 25 May 2011 which again could has been a very good part of my memory proved to be a disappointment yet again.
But then again it’s not like this was unforeseeable, I mean I was standing on a highway may be in the speed lane with the lowest max. Limit, but still it was a highway, I was just hoping and wishing that the approaching driver miss me but he didn’t. (Head on Collision)
TRUE STORY.
Nonetheless however big the failure be, it is just a lesson or more elegantly said as a “stepping stone” to success.
As the legendary Barney Stinson says, “Whenever I'm sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead!”
